Many women are frustrated because their partner doesn´t give them what they want. They are upset because he forgot their birthday or anniversary. If he doesn´t throw away the garbage, it makes them angry. Why does he never buy me flowers? Why doesn´t he know my favorite perfume? Why doesn´t he do this, why doesn´t he say that???
One could almost think that women might have too high expectations of men. In my opinion, the real problem is: Women think differently than men and women talk differently than men!
Women think millions of thoughts. We are always pondering! Women dissect a topic in hundreds of small pieces, we twist and turn every detail. We weigh up the pros and cons again and again. We hardly get out of our over-thinking. Also in the communication between the sexes, there are big differences!
Women use an average of about 10,000 words a day, men only 4,000 words! Women love to talk, we love to communicate. We embellish our stories and we can spend hours on the phone without getting bored.
Men communicate differently. They are straightforward and think logical. They speak in short, concise sentences and put the information on the point. They don´t wander off but reduce the situation to a minimum.
A normal situation in a relationship:
Last week, there was the 4th anniversary of Michael and Maeve. Maeve would be looking forward to their joint anniversary weeks before and she constantly ponders how to celebrate this special day. She gets herself a beautiful new dress to be especially beautiful for Michael. She cooks a 3 course meal for a romantic candlelight dinner! Maeve, however, has planned everything alone, Michael didn´t know anything about it! Finally, it should be a surprise for him. Probably, you guys know already what happened …
Oh one more thing! Maeve expected the same of Michael. She expected him to buy her flowers and a beautiful gift.
Well, that´s what really happened:
Michael had unfortunately completely forgotten their anniversary. After work, he went to the gym with his best friend and afterwards they went for a beer. His phone was in the gym bag and he didn´t notice that Maeve had been trying to reach him. As Michael came home late that night, Maeve was very angry and she started a fight.
Women shouldn´t expect men to know what we want. Unfortunately, they don´t. Men need clear, simple instructions!
The anniversary of Michael and Maeve could have been quite differently. It would have been better if Mary had not mysteriously planned the dinner but had included him in her plans. Then he would not have forgotten the anniversary and he might have acted differently.
Furthermore, men are really grateful when women tell them what they want. Many women are disappointed when they don´t get a gift or when they get the wrong gift. As women constantly think about what our partner could enjoy, we are even more disappointed if the partner doesn´t know our wishes.
It is better to tell him directly what you wish for. They will be very grateful for that! Say what you’d like! Short and simple!
I know, we women wish so much that men would think about the relationship as much as we do! We have very high expectations. These expectations are often disappointed because we are simply different! That´s how it is. So it would be better if we tell them what we want! Then both partners are happy! The man, because he loves it when his woman is happy and the woman because she got what she wanted.
So here again briefly summarized
1) Tell your partner what you want/expect!
2.) Say it short and sweet!
3.) If he fulfills your desire and if he does things you like, then praise him! That´s very important!
So, try it out! You’ll see your relationship will really change for the positive!
xoxo Miss P